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Leaving the LLC

Please share your experiences

Leaving the LLC

Postby finallyfree on Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:54 am

I never fit in with the "cool" kids either. I tried very hard to fit in from about ages 12-15, but realized that I'd never fit in. I found a few friends that also didn't fit in, and found friends from school that were not in the LLC. The first time I "dropped out" was at age 16. My parents caught me sneaking out to a party, and I told them that I didn't believe. Oh, and they also found my stash of "bad" cd's..but I managed to get them back :). A few months after that, I "repented", but only because it was too hard to live at home with my family as an "unbeliever". My parents didn't trust me because of it, so I just faked it. I knew that once I graduated high school and could move out, that I would leave the LLC behind for good. It was the rules that got me. I didn't understand why it was wrong to watch TV/movies, wear make up, listen to "wordly" music..etc. I didn't think about what they believed, but didn't know any other way since that was all I'd ever been taught.

When I turned 18, I moved out from my parents, and in with a friend. It was hard. I didn't have a very good relationship with my family, and even though I didn't move far, we barely saw eachother, and didn't talk much. It was so awkward whenever I was visiting my family. I partied alot, and tried not to think about anything to do with religion. I met a wonderful man a few months after I moved out. About a year later, when we were planning our wedding, we started the marriage prep. course that was required by the minister marrying us. He was so kind, and accepting! Of course he didn't like that we were living together, but he didn't judge us for it. He treated us the same as he would treat anyone else. It was very eye opening to hear him explain the different parts of the bible we were studying. I had never heard it explained like that! That was when I realized that there is so much more out here than what the LLC teaches. I didn't know that there was such a thing as a personal relationship with God. When the minister talked about our personal walks with God, he was probably surprised when I said I had no idea what he was talking about! Since then I have learned alot from reading posts on this site, and the extoots site, and also of reading the bible. My husband and I have not found a church that we attend regularly, but I know that God has not forgotten about me just because I am not a laestadian.

I used to wish that I would've been raised in a non-laestadian family. I thought that it would have been so much easier. Now, I am happy for what I have been through. It made me who I am today, and leaving has made me a stronger person. Now, my relationship with my parents and siblings is pretty good. (having a child helped!) We visit there, and they even come to our house, and its not awkward anymore.
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Postby Free at Last on Sat Feb 07, 2009 7:51 pm

Finally Free: It is wonderful that God was able to open your eyes through the help of the minister to see that there is so much more to God's kingdom than the narrow view taught in Laestadianism.

Finding a church is so very important for your faith. Please pray every day for the Lord to lead you to a body of believers who can help nurture you. Be diligent to follow every lead He puts before you. I have visited so many churches in the city I live in, but there are times when He gave me clear direction. I started in a very small church, where I learned to open up & be honest with & trust the loving members there. When I realized that my child needed more kids to associate with, the Lord actually put the name of a church on my mind--and I was elated to find out that it even had an AWANA club! That was a fantastic experience that eventually led me to unite with some church members to form a ministry that has dramatically changed my life.

God definitely means for us to live our lives in community with other believers as we carry out His plans for the spread of the gospel. The sad thing for the Laestadian groups I am familiar with is that they don't grasp what the responsibility of the church is as far as outreach is concerned. They are totally inwardly-focused.
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Postby FaithfulRemnant on Mon Feb 09, 2009 11:15 pm

Sounds familiar, since I have been in the LLC branch. I am not married however, but have the best Christian sweetheart of a girlfriend. Of course, she is an "unbeliever" according to the LLC, but I have come to a very different opinion. We pray together, forgive one another if we falter, go to church, read the Bible, discuss issues of faith, etc. I have kept our relationship a secret fellow LLC members, but realize this cannot be the case any longer if our relationship is to move normally. I am sure the first question will be "Is she a believer?" But what do I answer? "Yes, I believe so, but she is not a Laestadian." Hmm...any ideas out there? Similar experiences? I would appreciate it.

I agree about the rule-based nature of much of Laestadianism. It is a paradox....preaching grace and forgiveness, but saying it is a sin to have a TV, enjoy life a little, etc. It is easy to have fun without indulging in the world, but at the same time not being confined just to church social events. It doesn't make much sense. Like one Apostolic Lutheran periodical said "They(the Laestadian congregation) are more law-minded now than us." I would agree.
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Postby Free at Last on Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:04 pm

My advice, Faithful Remnant, is that you not doom your relationship by sticking around the LLC or caring what their members think of your girlfriend. If you can't hold your head high and say that she is indeed a follower of Jesus Christ, I think you are compromising your own integrity. Why would you even think about subjecting her to their unfair and ungodly prejudices?
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Postby FaithfulRemnant on Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:18 am

Thanks Free for the input. I don't intend to subject her to the LLC mindset. To do so would probably spell the end of our relationship. We would both have to become somebody we are not, which is virtually impossible and miserable. We don't even attend LLC services, but are usually at house of worship on Sunday. There are no LLC members in my hometown and there is only a handful in her town and I haven't met them or attended the periodic services here. I think one reason I have never moved to a place with a large LLC membership is for the simple reason that I would have to live a lifestyle that just is not representative of who I am and who my girlfriend is. I have been strongly urged to move somewhere where I can attend LLC events. I had a "long-distance" conversion via telephone and have pretty much lived an "isolated life"(relative to the LLC idea of gatherings, etc).
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Postby djohn60 on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:26 pm

I have become more aquainted with the llc when I went to my great aunts funeral which was at an llc church. Since I am of laestadian roots however did not attend any form of laestadian church as a child this was my first encounter with with any kind of laestadian group. I was impressed at first by that particular church I thought the eulogy was good and they treated us really nice at the meal afterwords however since then things have changed somewhat. the area where I live has become quite populated with laestadians to the point where they have built a church in my area. and I have gotten to know a good many of them. but one girl I met I became friends with but when her parents found out became very angry with her and and spurned our friendship to the point where her mother herself confronted me quite angrily. and I have tried to be friendly with her father but he refuses any kind of social interaction. one other girl has been friendly and kind to me. I also have one other secret friend who has not revealed our friendship to any one as yet, I believe because of the dire consequences that I am not a member of the church.
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Postby Soapbox on Thu May 14, 2009 1:25 pm

Welcome to our forum djohn06. I have read your post before but didn't reply because I couldn't think of anything helpful to say. I am the parent of teen aged girls and I don't want them to develop strong emotional attachments until they are older. Contrary to popular belief, getting your heart broken 2 or 3 times before you commit to a life partner is not particularly pleasant or good for your emotional well-being.

Therefore, I would not wish my daughter or son to have a secret relationship that they know I don't approve of. And it would be wrong to encourage a minor to go against his or her parents wishes. You will never win any parent's trust that way. Secrets have a way of coming out, usually when they will humiliate you the most.

So my counsel to you is to keep things upfront. It is better to seek God and proceed with integrity as He leads. Sometimes the things we think we want the most are not the the best things which God has in mind for us.

I wish you the best and hope to hear from you again.
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Postby djohn60 on Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:41 am

however god says that man should leave his mother and father and be joined unto his wife so hopefully that advice you give to your daughter relates to that scripture soon she will belong to her husband and will have children and that cycle will continue. the bible also says delight in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart meaning he doesn't have a will contrary to mine. these girls are actually being brave by defying the beliefs of the laestadians peter said do i care what men say no but what god says. these girls have a right to think about their future ultimately some day they will be making their own decisions with the help of their husbands. the girl in referance was of a legal age as are all the other girls i'm speaking of which proves what is really going on. isn't that why people are leaving these laestadius based churches? i was one of those lucky few of laestadian heritage that escaped from that church in my youth and went to english speaking protestant churches. i thank god for the opportunity he has given me to help people that are in false beliefs or cults of any kind find their way to the true god of the bible. these girls are my dear friends and i don't appreciate people saying they are wrong for me as so called advise i treat women with decency and respect its the false teaching of laestadianism which as caused this problem. furthur more i have had the opportunity to tell them some of the things contained in the bible relating to true biblical theology i have actually seen their face faces light up and they've wanted to hear more. thus i'm not going to worry about what their parents think of me if their not walking in the way that christ taught.
Last edited by djohn60 on Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:16 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Soapbox on Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:58 am

You are right that they do need to think about their futures. Knowing that they are of legal age changes my perspective. I believe that we can teach our children what we believe and want them to know but they ultimately have to decide for themselves. And parents have to accept that. It is the way God made it.
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Postby Soapbox on Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:40 pm

....and I thought of something else---they may very well choose the laestadian lifestyle and we have to accept that too.

But I was wondering about your meaning when you said God's will is not different than yours. I didn't quite get the connection with the scripture you quoted. I think the first part of the verse says delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... To me that means that when you are loving the Lord with all of your heart, soul, and mind, the desires of your heart are going to be the same as God desires for you. I don't think it means that if you desire a relationship with a certain girl that it is necessarily what God desires for you. Sometimes the things we think that we want the most are the things that God will not allow. By submitting to Him and His will we make Him Lord of our life. If He is to be Lord, then we cannot be. The more we learn to seek His will and submit to it, the more peace, love and joy we will have in our lives.

I guess this only addresses a small portion of your post. I want to encourage you in your efforts to bring the light of God's word into the lives of the lost and/or confused. I guess I want the world to be perfect--that when you witnesses without being disrespectful that respect would be given to you as well but I know that this isn't the case. The Laestadians I knew were afraid of any bible teaching that didn't come from their preachers and would attack anyone who brought some up.

Over the years I have been able to establish a relationship with some of my family members that allows me to say "the bible says" in a way that is non-threatening and some have even asked me where they could find a particular verse. But I am not telling them anything that contradicts their beliefs very pointedly. Is this taking the cowards way out or attempting to get my foot in the door?

I'd be glad to hear of your opinion.
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Re: Leaving the LLC

Postby FaithfulRemnant on Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:26 pm

One thing in the LLC that is bothersome to me is in reading their periodical I see so often how good the LLC people believe they are compared to people of other Christian traditions. The others are "worldly" or "self-righteous"(these two words make frequent appearances in LLC publications). The Bible says "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved," and many people testify of faith in Jesus just like this verse says. Just how is believing in Jesus a form of self-righteousness or worldliness? So they don't have the same interpretation or theology as the LLC, but how is this self-righteous or worldly as well? I give due respect to anybody who can defend their belief and practice from the pages of Scripture even if I don' necessarily agree with them; if such claim Jesus as their savior and Lord and the Scriptures as their authority for life and faith, who am I to say they are worldly, self-righteous or even un-Christian? The LLC isn't alone in the judgment game. I was raised Pentecostal and still hear(30 years later) about the faults and shortcomings or stupidity and dysfunctional spirituality of other Christians and churches. It's absolutely sickening!
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Re: Leaving the LLC

Postby Soapbox on Tue Dec 01, 2009 8:00 am

Agreed! At the baptist church I no longer attend the pastor has put down another church as part of his communion service! "over there they believe you get more grace by taking communion...." with a snort of derision! How can one christian stand before God and put down another group of christian believers while commemorating the death of the Lord Jesus Christ??? I find it horrifying.
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Re: Leaving the LLC

Postby FaithfulRemnant on Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:47 am

Soapbox, I 've noticed a similar view among many Baptists, the idea that they alone have the correct understanding. If they alone are correct, why do Baptists not agree among themselves? And yeah, like you mentioned, one Baptist church snorts at another. Of course, not all have this view about other churches. What horrifies me is the corruption, liberalism and laxity being welcomed into many Christian circles---things like same-sex unions and homosexuality, cohabitation, pre-marital sex and a general acceptance of what is determined as "fine" by the prevailing culture. Culture is more important than a traditional understanding of scripture and moral values in many churches. I still confide with Laestadians and other conservative Christians on such moral issues. Television is certainly a transmitter of corruption because of the poor stuff on there and I can see why some advise against it(personally I could live without a TV but I wouldn't get all over somebody else if they had one). I have seen among my own family the problems associated with overindulgence on alcohol and pre-marrital relations, so I can see the wisdom in soberness and chastity and why some churches have adopted a conservative or traditional view on such matters. I wish you a Merry Christmas!
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