postlaestadianrevival

I left the OALC, also, many years ago.

In my experience, growing up in OALC was not a fun experience. I was at first made an outsider because I didn't belong to the one of the big name families in our locality. Then it was because I spoke to non-believers in school, etc. Finally, it was because of what I looked like on the outside. I wasn't a pretty girl, which brings ridicule from those that are naturally beautiful. I was skinny and very tall with horrible acne and stringy hair. With vanity an issue, I was not taught to properly care for myself or appearance. In one instance, a handicapped boy in the church was told that I loved him. He being, I am sure, in the same ridiculed group I was, believed them and I started getting photos and love letters from him. That set the tone for my involvement with the kids my age. I began to distrust everything said to me as I was made a laughing stock. I was not invited to gatherings and when I did find myself there, it was always an awful experience. I found that the OALC “Christians” thrived on the discomfort of others. I tried hard to listen to the word and comprehend what was being preached, while having to endure the kids behind me pulling on my scarf, poking me, cursing me or putting gum in my hair. I was ridiculed for wearing knee highs and laughed at for showing interest in a boy. This ugliness was passed to my siblings, who, I am sure, were trying themselves to fit in, and the treatment continued within our home.

Unfortunately for me, the OALC was judgmental, mean, cliquish and completely without Christian love.

I still find it hard when visiting my family and they issue the warnings and threats they hear every Sunday. I have also been warned to stay away from sites like these; that the preachers tell them to stay off the internet altogether. It hurts to see the blindness that overtakes intelligent people.

Thankfully, I found my own way and I have been blessed to have found a loving Christian church and it took a long time for me to realize that they were concerned with my faith and what was on my inside, instead of my outside. My faith is strong and my relationship with our Lord and Savior is my focus.

How heartbreaking, Mariana, to hear how you were ostracized and bullied in the OALC. You would think that grownups would have noticed such awful treatment and rebuked their children, and that there would have been people who would have lovingly made you feel welcome there.

I have a huge group of relatives in the OALC, and grew up in the midwest in a congregation where I was related to almost everyone. But my parents were "strict"--meaning they obeyed what was taught, so that put us in a suspicious category. People talked a lot behind our backs, hid their radios when we were around, & we were more than a little aware of our unpopularity. But we did have some cousins (who were raised the same way) that most of us hung out with, so that made it more bearable.

One of the silver linings to being rejected by most of the other youth in the OALC was that I never dated or married anyone there. I am ever so grateful that I never had to deal with that "tie-in".

And I have to say that even if many of my cousins didn't want much to do with me, my aunts & uncles were quite loving people--until the split happened in the church. When my parents left, my mom's siblings pretty much wrote her off. Her wise mother just told her:"You need to go where you have peace," but her siblings have made it very clear that they don't expect to see her in heaven.

Years later when I told my parents why I was leaving Laestadianism, my wise & loving mom told me the same thing: "You need to go where you have peace." It really broke their heart, but they never ever rejected or shunned me in any way; but things were a little strained for awhile.

But getting back to your horrible childhood experiences: I just want to cry when I think about how horrible going to church must have been for you. Did that turn you away from God, or did you question why He would let you suffer such rejection? How did you learn to overcome your fears and trust other Christians to treat you like a family should?

My heart goes out to you Mariana. I was not the most popular person around either. The coldness of the others, especially when I was a child and teenager made going to church difficult. The hardest part to forgive is that others, my siblings in particular, left the church as soon as they were old enough to and have never gone to any church again. I blame this kind of treatment for their loss of faith. The devil seems to have won the victory. I wonder how many hundreds of individuals have had similar experiences and left the church never to darken the door of any church again? In my family, the other churches were talked down and laughed at on a regular enough basis that going somewhere seemed else seemed unattractive.

I knew it was wrong to treat people the way I was treated, the kids I knew outside of the church knew it was wrong. What makes those kids think they are above the law--or does all that catechism teaching just not penetrate their thick skulls?

I won't ask what their parents were doing. I know. They are drinking coffee, talking to their friends and are completely oblivious to what their kids are doing.

I was thinking the other day about when Jesus said "Do people pick figs from thorn trees?" It occurred to me that perhaps that meant that we shouldn't look for nourishment for our souls from those who are prickly or cause pain like thorns. And be careful that we are not thorns to others. Don't know how good that theology is. Anyone who thinks it needs correction, please do.

Anyway, I am glad your story had a happy ending Mariana!

I have had my relatives patiently explain to me what they hear in church. I don't know what to say to them. I smile and nod because I don't want to start a verbal war, but inside I am thinking. "I know all of this, I have heard it a hundred times" but they have the idea that they are giving me new information. I always wish I could think of something non-offensive to say that would get the point across.


Then there are the "gatherings". Did anyone ever actually enjoy themselves at one of those events? I most certainly did not. I decided in my last years in the church that going home to read the Sunday comics was more enlightening, and taking an afternoon nap was far less boring.

If you enjoy shallow relationships & good food, those gatherings are fine, as long as you are with people who are not looking down their nose at you.

Isn't it interesting that members assume that we left because we didn't understand the "precious" doctrine? I have had to point out to people how many decades I spent in two different groups--and that I VERY CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD their doctrine. (Which is why I am no longer there---and I guarantee you that almost NOONE asks me that!)